Now Do That a Thousand Times


Bend your arm.
Easy right?
Bend your leg.
Do it again.
Now do that a thousand times.
Do you understand?
Deplete. Endure. Repeat.

Do it faster.

Pump blood into muscles
until you feel like you can fly.
By working in a team.
Competing to be lean.
No mirrors in this box but
you know what I mean.
Work on your form.
To perfect your gene set
there are always more reps.
Never accept less.

Learn to take the pain.
Learn to love it.
Expect it.
To want more of it.
As muscles contract.
As fibers relax.
Prepare for another set.
No time for rest.

Make a lifetime goal.
Crossfit can help get you there.
By pushing you harder than
you ever thought possible.
The workout of the day is not play.
The WOD is the box competition.
Glance up at to the board
and see who won.

Mark your time down in dry eraser.
Nothing is permanent.
Up there everyone can see your failure.
Each WOD performance a reflection in time.
Prepare to run an ultramarathon.
As you lift a thousand pounds,
muscles break down.
Your body pollutes.
Your muscle cells explode.
Your kidney nearly implodes.

To be more than human.
Keep your eyes on the prize.
But remember, you almost could/did die.
That’s the little secret Crossfit tries to hides.
To be more than you ever have been.
You awoke in the ER, barely alive.
Not able to move.
Not able to feed yourself.
Your body being flushed by an IV tube.
Your CPK levels in the tens of thousands.

The joke is on you.
Looks like Uncle Rhabdo came by.
Crossfit thinks its funny.
They made a cartoon to view.
Did you not see the signs?
No pain, no gain.
Until you collapse, bursting membranes.

Crossfit pushes all members hard.
Until they all see the same stars.
See Dwayne Johnson.
Be Hercules.
Be Superman.
Envision the impossible.
With heads swimming.
Urine dirt brown and vomiting.
Members soon realize
they are only human.

Give your trainer a call.
They might say, “Take time to heal.
Drink water.
Take your pills.
Come back to the box.
We miss you here.

But shhh……
Crossfit never pays hospital bills.”

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