The Front Porch

Julie Baby
Let’s say maybe
You and I were only
Three years old
When I remember
The story you told
About the Redskins
In Atlanta near the front door
I look at that photo
And my emotions pour….
They reflect a lifetime.

Bleached Like Me

I am waiting for you to feed me.
I am waiting for you to clean me.
I shuffle in my feces like another species.
I have been bred to be fat.
I mate for you so you can take
My children and feed them more.

They never know me as they are stolen.
Put in another cage to grow in.
I used to scream but now, no more.
I realized the loud ones were snatched before.
So now I sit here and eat this corn
Hoping to last another day.

I take two steps with dismay.
My muscles too atrophied to move me.
My eyes swollen shut so I can’t see.
Next week I will be someones treat.
A snack sandwich or maybe nuggets to eat.

My body defeathered and boiled.
Then slammed through a machine to destroy
All my bones and cartilage for
That driv-thru you so deplore.
My body now paste like and pink.

Bleached white so you will think
That I was once healthy and well kept.
Raised with love on this great planet
As I ate, sat and shat inside a fence
Never able to see, hear or experience.

Flea Ridden

I don’t need an MBA
Because it is of no use to me.
I am surrounded by degrees.
People have diplomas like fleas.

I don’t need an MFA
Because it will not increase my pay.
A mountain of debt I would explore
Making allies and enemies waiting for tenure.

I don’t need a PhD.
I don’t need to hear doctor to be free
Because being an artist is all I need.
Artist is the only title I will concede.

I am surrounded by people who do
The same clicking and typing voodoo.
Who don’t realize that to make truly great things
All one needs is creativity.

Creativity can’t be found in a class.
Creativity can’t be found on a map.
Creativity is so often under tasked
Because most people are wearing a mask.

Having their creativity stolen from them
They enjoy forcing artists into the same system.
Will artists ever find the validity they deserve?
Only from within their hearts can respect be served.

DigiFriends

A Skype portrait between two friends
Who now see each other every two years.
Who used to be roommates who shared fears.

This is the closest friend I now have.
Who would my friends be without the net?
Maybe that’s not worth thinking about, yet.

The laptop was taken around our place
As I gave him a tour of our new space.
After the call it felt like he had just left.

A friend in a box on my countertop
Makes me wonder what we have got.
What ever happened to real flesh and blood?

Is this the way we connect before the flood
Or will we emerge into one hard drive?
Communicating together forever, live.

The Mental Picture

Imagine a network node of your consciousness
Extended outward to all other nodes
To the great upload.
Forever creating and retrieving data.

Flowing and dangling loosely like a tree in the weather.
Limbs stretched outward and upward.
Leaves bending and branches stretching in the river.
The mental picture…

This site has tentacles
That reach into inner and outer space.
Spreading consciousness to the human race.
This site connects my mind and heart to this place.

Downloading the passion I feel we need to face.
This site is much more to me than what it may seem.
It has become bigger than I could have ever foreseen.
The topics discussed primordial and never dreamed.

Where do we all belong in this culture?
This site is my job I now know.
Everything I do is to help this site grow.
To share my life experiences with you all.

To have more enlisted to its call.
So we might know each other better.
So we might grow stronger together.
This is my mental picture.

We All Fall Down

The wars go on,
Innocent die.
Bombs explode,
Parents cry.
Each side knows,
Its cause is just.
We must be right,
In God we trust.

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust
Ashes to ashes,
In God we trust.

Ring around the many
A pocket full of pennies;
Ashes, Ashes
All stand still.

The years pass
Another cause.
Another fight.
Defend our ways.
Invade today,
To free the poor.
Spreading democracy
Is what war is for.

The King has sent his army,
To fetch a pail of oil;
Ashes, Ashes
All fall down.

We all know the path,
but need a plan.
Take you and me,
And every man.
Live your life,
With love. Be kind.
Spread joy,
Help fear decline.

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust
Ashes to ashes,
In God we trust.

The bird upon the capitol,
Sits high above the sheeple;
Ashes, Ashes
All kneel down.

The Autumn Leaves


All weight removed by flipping a switch.
A brand new perspective, I must admit
Created the day I left my life.
Awoke and was reborn with no strife.

Realizing that to change
I needed to see differently and rearrange
The obstacles I created in my brain.
I no longer live with tension and strain.

How can one heal so quickly you might ask?
By realizing I can write freely without a mask.
I don’t have to write anymore as if a dead man walking.
I can be in any city I wish to be my calling.

Enjoying the freedoms I have in my mind.
There is no prison that can keep my thoughts intertwined.
No bars that can contain my imagination.
No disease that can cause new lesions.

I now sit on the mountaintop looking out.
Having driven along the same route.
I’ve sat here many long hours dreaming.
I walked upon a deer, the mist steaming.

Our paths crossed for that one brief moment.
An animal so strong I could barely comment.
I was walking with a spirit I now believe.
I can stand with him again, relieved.

I can walk freely with him among the autumn leaves.
I can view the Hudson where I grieved.
I might find a home with him once achieved
Only by those with many years of therapy.

I am now walking with that young deer.
Tomorrow I might decide to be a bird and steer
Clear of the mountains and fly to the sea.
For there is nothing here that can contain me.

Lost in Translation

We woke up today, tired but energized. There are few things in life that are better than a new life. In this life I no longer type these emails. I think them and they are relayed to this blog. I no longer do web production. I no longer do technology. How this came to pass, I will leave to your imagination.

Life on the road has been easy so far. I mean we’re only one day in. All we’ve had to deal with is some fits from the little ones. They have been quickly removed from their grandmother’s home and taken on the road. All of their belongings left behind. This behavior was to be expected. We are eating vegan now too. That’s a change but one that was definitely needed. We exist now on nuts, multi-grain bread, fruits, veggies. Raw, cooked or however. As expected I’m continually hungry but I know soon my stomach will shrink and I will have more energy.

We are closing in on New York state. The plans are to visit family in Suffern, NY and then to go camping in Bear Mountain State Park. It is a wonderful site. I feel the mountain has healing qualities. At the top of it you can look out and see Manhattan down the Hudson. It’s out there. It’s all out there. From that mountaintop you can see the world. I can imagine the horror of seeing Manhattan from that vantage point during 9/11. It must have been as if the world was ending. The world did not end. The Indians must have seen the white man coming from there as well. The world did not end. Bear Mountain is still here. It always will be.

I hope to visit Akbar if he will have us. We haven’t seen each other for so long it seems as if we truly are just avatars. I recently found out the meaning of the word avatar in Hindu Mythology. An Avatar is the descent of a deity to the earth in an incarnate form or some manifest shape; the incarnation of a god. I don’t feel like a god. It would be nice to talk to my friends in person one day. There is so much lost in translation.

Exit 160

We awoke today.
Clean.
Driven.
Free.

We drove away.
We smiled ear to ear.
And then we felt fear.
Our minds unclear.

Our false security now gone.
Only the road ahead.
Will it lead us to the sublime?
Will it lead us to crime?

Hungry dogs sniffing for food.
Claws scratching for you.
How many rest stops along the way?
Sleeping while sitting up today.

Resting in the van.
One eye open, the other in another land.
Babies crying to find a home.
No camp found, we roam.

We sleep tonight.
Dirty.
Tired.
Free.

Road Warriors

I’m out of here. That’s it. I put in my notice today. Today I am no longer a web designer. I am a human. And my wife supports my decision. We are going on a trip. A long trip together as a family. Broke and poor. We are hitting the road.

I was just sitting there today thinking, is this it? Am I to live like this? As the time ticks away the seconds of my life. The days and weeks fly by as I prepare to die. And I have a timeline. It has been explained and stretched out before me on paper. Dotted. Signed. Re-signed. This paper has a pie chart and a bar graph showing where my median age for death will be. I have five years they say but when did the clock start? Nobody knows. Will I beat brain cancer? No one seems to beat it? There are few who outlive the median age and they are still wondering when their tumors will start growing again because nobody beats it. They just make it off the chart.

I live with this every day. This, what am I going to do with my life anxiety?  This, why was I put here anxiety? How will I make my mark? What is my calling? And could I pursue it, if I really knew what the answers were? So today I reclaim my life or what is left of it.

My wife, the kids and I are hitting the road. Where it will take us nobody knows. First things first, we are keeping our stuff in storage here in Melbourne, Florida. That stuff could burn to the ground for all I care. I’ve never been more free without it. I have slept on an air mattress for the past five months in the living room. I welcome it. If I could sleep standing up I would, just as long as I’m alive. As far as web design goes, I think I’ll try something different this time around. Something where I use my body. Work with my hands. Maybe even learn how to grow my own food.

Tonight we are packing because tomorrow morning the road awaits. I hope to gun it up to New York first, while the weather is nice. Maybe stay up long enough to see the leaves change, then possibly head over to Colorado. We are taking only what we need. Just a handful of clothes each. Just enough of everything to make it easy. We will teach our children to make do with little and to learn to find happiness in nature. No more television. No more Tivo. No more. More. More. More.