Finding Space

tron5

The space
I always dreamed of
was detached.
Outside in the back.
In a shed or a trailer.
A place just for me.
To store up
my energy.

To think.
To create.
To not be surrounded
by all the stuff we take.
Collect and make.

Last night, with eyes closed.
In a dark room.
New in practice.
I repeated my mantra.
A few minutes in,
MY SPACE came to me.

Expanding in all directions.
More space than any
physical body could ever need.

I realized this space
has always been there for me.
In waiting.
I only needed to focus.
To make time to breath.
I could always close
my eyes and leave.

To spend time in infinity.

Om Mani Padme Hum

om

worried that i might find inner peace. see it closing in. seeing a point when i’ll have nothing to say. nothing more to stand for. does finding peace in one’s heart make one empty. only left with a dumb grin. full of nothingness when the wars begin.

mani

peace in my heart. peace in you. what can i do to stop climate change? maybe it’s too late. yesterday my little girl told me to turn off the kitchen sink. said i was running it too long. i didn’t think she was listening when i told her the same thing two years earlier.

padme

recent conversations i have had. realizing they have been turned into documentaries. capitalism vs. climate change. money over anything. the planet is full of gold, till it isn’t. nothing to worry. the rapture is coming.

hum

the human experience is wonderful and savage. full of love and avarice. full of terror and forgiveness. walking atrocities waiting to happen. a billion miracles waiting to explode into laughter. doing what we know we can. making right the wrongs we can. no one, no species ever had a monopoly on morality.

………………………………………………………………………………
shout out from an old ancient mantra I begun exploring: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Om_mani_padme_hum

shout out to Allen Ginsberg: http://tinyurl.com/kjyr7yv

Mutts, All of Us

i want to have an informed opinion. worthy of sharing, to help give direction. my current direction is no direction. stay put. sit in a room. concentrate on your problems, fix yourself first.

i have two projects on my desk. to apply for a handicapped parking permit and to increase my life insurance. my death insurance. we are all assured of an ending. fancy casket or cardboard box. ashes in a coffee can. or a huge grave plot, for the whole family. generation after generation.

preparing for death, i read of border issues. Israel and Palestine issues. i think of Moses leading his people out of Egypt. let us have peace. surrender the land. you are surrounded. you can have Texas. Where is Moses?

spoke to a geneticists. she asked us where my family came from. having taken a DNA test recently, I was able to say English and European Jew. I am much more of a Jew than my dad ever thought he was a Chickasaw Indian. He was so proud to be Native American. Mutts, all of us.

I have no dog in this fight, but I think of the plight of the Jew. the history of never having land. always threatened. always on the move. to finally have land. a place to call home after near extinction. I think I understand, why they want to make a stand.

why have the tribes divided man? I think this as I remember when I’d yell at the T.V. wanting my team to win. I want my daughters to be athletes. to be agile. to be able to fight and run fast. to leave them with a plan. when this happens use this technique. a poke to the throat. fingers to the eyes. bend your knees. scream until you are released. then run.

never be too proud to leave everything behind and start over. In Florida, we live in hurricane country. there is a mantra we all have inside, “never get too attached.” when the storm rises to wash the coast clean, again. in a day, your home, your town will be blown all away.

Now Do That a Thousand Times

uncle_rhabdo

Bend your arm.
Easy right?
Bend your leg.
Do it again.
Now do that a thousand times.
Do you understand?
Deplete. Endure. Repeat.

Do it faster.
Heavier.
Stronger.
Focus.
Breath.

Pump blood into muscles
until you feel like you can fly.
By working in a team.
Competing to be lean.
No mirrors in this box but
you know what I mean.
Work on your form.
To perfect your gene set
there are always more reps.
Never accept less.

Learn to take the pain.
Learn to love it.
Expect it.
To want more of it.
As muscles contract.
As fibers relax.
Prepare for another set.
No time for rest.

Make a lifetime goal.
Crossfit can help get you there.
By pushing you harder than
you ever thought possible.
The workout of the day is not play.
The WOD is the box competition.
Glance up at to the board
and see who won.

Mark your time down in dry eraser.
Nothing is permanent.
Up there everyone can see your failure.
Each WOD performance a reflection in time.
Prepare to run an ultramarathon.
As you lift a thousand pounds,
muscles break down.
Your body pollutes.
Your muscle cells explode.
Your kidney nearly implodes.

To be more than human.
Keep your eyes on the prize.
But remember, you almost could/did die.
That’s the little secret Crossfit tries to hides.
To be more than you ever have been.
You awoke in the ER, barely alive.
Not able to move.
Not able to feed yourself.
Your body being flushed by an IV tube.
Your CPK levels in the tens of thousands.

The joke is on you.
Looks like Uncle Rhabdo came by.
Crossfit thinks its funny.
They made a cartoon to view.
Did you not see the signs?
No pain, no gain.
Until you collapse, bursting membranes.

Crossfit pushes all members hard.
Until they all see the same stars.
See Dwayne Johnson.
Be Hercules.
Be Superman.
Envision the impossible.
With heads swimming.
Urine dirt brown and vomiting.
Members soon realize
they are only human.

Give your trainer a call.
They might say, “Take time to heal.
Drink water.
Take your pills.
Come back to the box.
We miss you here.

But shhh……
Crossfit never pays hospital bills.”

One Ball and One Man

dirty_baseballYesterday, I found a baseball hiding in a park.
I practiced throwing the ball to hit a tree.
To feel the extension of the object
between target and me.
To prepare my arm for throwing ball,

I felt the spear.
I felt the bullet.
I felt the target going back to when
they were called dinner.
The hunted.
The prey.
Now, the enemy.

I felt all the entry and exit wounds
of all of mankind, throughout time.

I envisioned them as one.
One red bleeding hole.
Through bone, mind and body.
Through tanks and planes.
In that split second
throwing a ball against a tree.

Not hitting my target I felt
robbed of any
primitive control
of mind or limb.
Of a time when, man took
tools in hand.
Built cities
and then
Burned them all down.
Killing family and friend.
One ball and one man.
Both not sure where they now fit in.

Waiting through a Summer Storm

198093_reader_photo_lightning

I hear the approaching thunderstorm.
I think of one day harvesting its energy.
Of the day making anew its form.

The condensation rising into the gray.
Impregnating new clouds
As the evening rounds
its way, into another hour.

As we crouch and hide inside shelter.
As we abstain from thinking we are greater.
As the lightning bolt claps itself into existence.

We are reminded that
We are all electrons.
Charged and let gone.
Your life.
Your family.
Your nation.
Our entire civilization.

Seemingly small.
Insignificant.
As the thunder booms.
For the receptive
it creates new rooms.
for the human imagination.

To one day harvest its energy.
To one day, make it our slave.
To power cities.
To hide no more.

That is our destiny.

The Great Experiment

demonic males

Nature knows no innocence.
It knows no morality.
Nature is a raiding party.
Scouting the other group
at night, waiting, observing
to see their numbers.
To try and catch one half asleep, alone.
To kill the enemy in their slumber.
That is nature’s war.

For nature is a trickster.
Using the dastardly deed.
It invites the enemy over to feast
as friend not foe.
To make amends.
To dream together.

Until sleep comes.
Only to wake to beat their target till dead.
Slaying with surgical precision.
To feed on their innards.
Scoop out hearts as they beat
in their hands.
This is nature.
This is nurture.
This is man.

To look to understand
examine our ancestors.
Look at the primates.
Look at the males.
See their ultra-violent
history for killing and rape.
To take what they see is theirs.
To procreate.
To create their own kingdom.
Only to have it taken away
by the first young male to see an angle.
To conspire to make a bloody triangle
around the alpha.

After all, the silverback gorilla is the chief
baby killer, guarding females from other
baby killers. Hidden in a forrest
where infanticide is the norm.

The beta is always in waiting.
While all females are beaten.
Children are slaughtered and eaten.
Fear is the tool of the trade used to control.
To mold the group into each role.

To control territory.
To control resources.
To continue progeny.

Nature has no favorites.
Knows no religion.
Knows no culture.
Created xenophobia.
Favors violence.
From primate to man.
If one can see our challenges then,
through that lens.

We have a long road to travel.
For demonic males
are inside us all.
Inside our genes.
He is our mother and father.
He is our politics.

To win the war.
To survive it all.
It is our nature we battle.

For nature does not care who wins or loses.
To win or lose, makes no difference at all.
For time will always prevail, as all species fall.
The great experiment continues to evolve.

…………….
This book is highly recommended. If you read it the horrible news stories on todays media will sound normal. Expected. Like apes with better tools. Doing what apes do. The same old story. Different species.

Crossing the Rubicon

See the box with all your office
supplies quickly forced in.
All your family photos and
supplies packed up for you.
Gut shot.
You bled out, time there.
Never to be gotten back.

But life always offers
a new chance.
Never turn back.
Never read another motivational poster.
Remember the one with the eagle.
flying high. The words below read,
Dare to Soar.

A tool of sarcasm used
to remind you of all your forgotten dreams.
You clung to those words and deplored
the life choices you made along the way
passing that poster each day on the way
to the office kitchen.

Smile deeply as you pass it once more.
It is time to move on.
Your box is packed.
An archive of memories.
Pick a place on the map.
Be very specific.
To begin your trip
listen to your animal spirit.
If you don’t have one be the Eagle.

On the road, once you see your exit, don’t turn.
Burn past that exit sign.
Go straight.
Go forward.
A new life for which you yearn is waiting.
Let the die be cast.
The past is the past.
Drive on.
While there is still sand in the hour glass.

Wings outstretched.
There is nothing more
than the wind to guide you.
Enjoy not knowing.
A new exit will soon reveal itself.
You are crossing the rubicon.
An immigrant of time.
Navigate by the moon and sun.

Letter to a Younger Poet

Letter to a Younger Poet:

There are no directions to you. You did not come with a manual. A How To book will not help you. All you need, is with you. Inside you. If you desire to. You will pick at your mental scabs. You will make them bleed. You will feel naked in front of the classroom. In front of your family. In front of all of humanity.

All sense of what is proper or acceptable will be thrown out the door. There will be no room for you. You will find yourself utterly alone. There you will find peace. You will share to the bone. Imagine yourself stripping off your flesh to dig deeper and deeper. Into your marrow. Never waiver.

If you ask for guidance be careful what you receive. You will hear people speak of grammar, of cadence, of rhyme. They will speak in parables of dead poets that you will think don’t describe what it means to be human, anymore. So don’t ask. Keep your eyes forward and stay on task.

You are the future. Poetry is defined through you. Through each word you share. Be on point. Make them part of the human experiment. Worthwhile. Worth reading. Worth sharing. Think of your life as if it is ending. Meditate on death. Think of this being the only thing you will ever write. As if there is a gun to your head. And there is. The gun of time. You must acknowledge it before you begin. Bow to it and let it help you defend you right to live.

Speak as if you are the voice of now. The voice of all. Tap into something greater than you. Let “It” guide you. Believe in the stream. Dive into it. The collective unconscious is there. All of life. All of the universe. You can speak for civil rights. For justice. For atoms. For stars. For you are the everything.

Your voice is a wise as Plato. As divine as Buddha and Jesus. Let your truth be known. Write it. Share it. Don’t expect anything in return. Ever. Give it away as if you are shedding old skin or hair. Forgive and forget what you said. There is no lesson here. Only catharsis. Where you are led, only time will tell. When you find the river swim.

For Rilke: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Letters_to_a_Young_Poet

The Greatest Generation

dday

The greatest generation of all, is ahead.
Look forward.
Can you see them?
They are coded.
We carry them inside our cells.
Be thankful.
There will never be a need
for them to fight a war.
No need to be shot and bled
for loss of limb or more.

The greatest generation of all time, has not lived.
They are our future.
A time when Racism and Hate are dead.
Both genes no longer needed nor fed.
Deleted before male and female
chromosomes are wed.

Be Grateful.
This generation will not cling
to any religion or flag.
They will reach for the stars.
Study the sciences.
Expand mathematics.
Map the universe.

For Guidance,
They will study logic.
They will write new philosophies.
Paint new masterpieces.

They will imagine new equations
to use the full power of the Sun.
They will see the infinite in the minute.
They will have no need for a god
for a moral compass.
For Morality will be a universal truth.

No, the greatest generation of all is not dead.
Is not dying. Has not been named.
Did not live through any great war.
Did not die for freedom for you or me.

For that generation gave all they could give
but forgot the greatest lesson of all.
To Forgive.
Holding hate in their hearts to the very end.
Not seeking equality for all.
Not knowing when to relinquish their power.
Used their might to wrong the rights of the minority.
Did not respect the Earth.
Denied their climate destruction against the majority.

As they forced their boot to the throat of all progress.
Collectively never taking a stand
To right the wrongs so many fought to apprehend.
Yes, their generation is soon to end.
Soon to be remembered, for when
they chose the wrong side of history.

For their true fault was to never comprehend
their greatest enemy was within.